37 bits of unsolicited advice

For my birthday I’m offering 37 pieces of advice.* Use what’s useful, and please ignore the rest.

1. Practice releasing tension in your body throughout the day: forehead, jaw, shoulders, hips, release.
2. If you’re facing a big decision, imagine remembering this moment from various possible futures. Live the life you look forward to remembering. 
3. If you want someone to elaborate, repeat the last few words they just said.
4. Walk down a busy street holding flowers. They’re for everyone.
5. When someone is talking about the weather, pretend they’re talking about their feelings.
6. Take a tour of your city’s wastewater treatment plant, solid waste facility, and/or recycling facility.
7. Make a list of free or easy-to-acquire things that you enjoy. Keep it nearby for days when you don’t feel like yourself.
8. When in doubt, drink a cup (1 c) of water.
9. Increase your capacity to care. 
10. Stretch, don’t strain.
11. Most of procrastination’s negative effects come from being hard on ourselves. Eliminate being hard on yourself and procrastination becomes less crippling. It may even become delightful.
12. It’s natural to fixate on your current challenges. Make a point to stop and remember challenges you overcame to get here. What worked? What did you learn?
13. Get comfortable sitting in silence with others. Pets and plants count. 
14. When typing a difficult email or text, change the word “but” to “so” and see where it takes the sentence. 
15. Pause before clicking “send.” It might not be for the receiver, right now. It might be for you, or it might be for later.  
16. Keep one-dollar bills handy so that when asked for change, you’ll have something to offer. Granola bars, bottles of water, whatever. When Jesus said “Give to everyone who asks,” he meant it. Often, the receiver will bless you in return.
17. The slower you go, the faster you get there.
18. Research shows that keeping a gratitude journal (3 things per day, 30 days) can yield happiness that lasts more than six months. Find a buddy or two to do it with you.
19. It’s not too late to find your first four-leaf clover. Start by knowing the difference between clover and oxalis.
    

20. In the wave-particle nature of reality, particles get over-emphasized. Shift your attention to waves. 
21. Fight nature and you will lose. Align with forces of nature, like a surfer or a sailboat. Examples of forces of nature include seasons, aging, and whatever your hair wants to do. 
22. If you look south, the sun goes left-to-right through the sky every day. Practice figuring out which way is south. (For Southern Hemisphere residents: look north, right-to-left)
23. Caregiving has never been more necessary, and the need is growing as Boomers retire and age. Check in on people. Care for caregivers.
24. Get to know your neighbors.
25. Don’t do more than one stupid thing at a time.
26. If noises keep you awake, imagine they’re being absorbed into a spot in the middle of your brain, soaking it like a sponge. 
27. Be skeptical of any notion that you are this or that “kind of person.”
28. “Optimist” is not an identity, it is a job, a practice. 
29. Be ready to answer these questions, it’s ok if your answers change:
    • What’s your favorite color? animal? season? movie? artist?
    • What do you do for work? for fun?
    • What are your pronouns?
30. Increase your budget for presenting your work, for people who won’t experience your work directly. 
31. Moving your body is crucial for health. Stretching, dancing, yoga, exercise. Do it in airports, bus stops, living rooms, anywhere. 
32. Keeping a supply of food and water is like an insurance policy. Disasters happen. 
33. If you lose your keys or wallet or phone, tidy up as you search. By the time you find it, you’ll be more organized than you were when you realized you’d lost something. 
34. If you have to go back to get something you forgot, slow down. You might remember something else you’d forgotten. 
35. If someone gives you something you don’t want or need, make it a game to find someone who wants or needs it. 
36. As soon as you notice someone tends to disappoint you, readjust expectations. 
37. Quakers use the word “elder” as a verb. Anyone can elder.

—

*This list is inspired by Kevin Kelly’s personal tradition of doing the same for the last few years. I also thank good folks for inspiring specific (or directly sharing) specific bits on this list, including the Kitchen Sisters (bit #3), Karen Savage (4), John Mulrow (5), Jimena Galfazo (7), Daniel Steinbock (10), Jonah Willihnganz (12), Tony Kramer (17), Shawn Achor (18), Bonnie Swift (19), John Perry Barlow (25), Michal Zalewski (32)